Anonymous asked: Hey nine, how did you come out to your girlfriend? How did she handle it?
Well, technically, I did not come out to my girlfriend. We met through a friend, and that same friend told her the truth of me before we even met.
Other then that technicality, I came out to her face-to-face. The same time that we’ve met. It was unusual of me to do so. I tend to keep my self “stealth” in most situations. I just don’t want to have that as the primary issue when I meet people. I battle the decision of whether or not is it appropriate to tell someone. There are just too many factors to consider.
I would get a feel of the person, their characteristic, their mentality, openness, and etc. before I even get anywhere close to that topic. And when I do go through those topics, I analyze them really hard to see if I’m going to be safe or not exposing a part of me to them in that retrospect.
The boundaries of exposing myself to others are a hit or miss.
For my girlfriend, I don’t know what got over me but I just felt comfortable exposing myself within the time span that we were hanging out. Not sure what it was particularly. Maybe it was the fact that she was willing to open up to me about her personal life and her pains or maybe it’s the fact that she is a girl and open-minded as she talked about herself to me. Whatever it was, I may have been brash about it, but I felt at that moment if I didn’t let her know about me, our relations would have been more difficult.
I had to figure out where the grey line is between protecting and being myself versus feeling like I’m being secretive or lying to those who I come across along the way. If I didn’t tell her at that moment, then when?
When I did told her the truth, she was indifferent about it. Which was good and weird at the same time. I was expecting a reaction like “oh that’s nice” or “oh..okay..” and on with questions about my sexual preference and what not. :| But she didn’t go to the usual route, which was interesting for me. PLUS, she was cold and I happen to be a good cuddle buddy :D loll
I’ve actually talked about this topic to some of my old colleagues. Majority of them are females, and they are pretty awesome ladies. One simply stated to me that I should not be too worried about what others think or will react to knowing the truth. If they cared for me and just my well being, then it would not matter what I am. And she further elaborated what was appropriate in her view on when is it right to tell and not. In her words, “If they are just going to be your friends and that you’re only seeing them as friends, then don’t give too much thought into it. But if you want something more than friendship and vice versa then tell them before you start.”
I suppose I used that as a reference to locate my grey line.
I’m glad that I told her. :)